Griffin - Strong in Faith

I just fed baby girl and checked on Jude again, it is 3am.  It is a weird thing to watch your child wondering, is he pale enough or tired enough to need a transfusion.  They said it was likely this week, so I just keep watching, wondering how they send us home with this responsibility.  Watch for a fever, he is likely to get one and if he does he needs a hospital stay, 3 day minimum.  So here I am in the middle of the night, as he sleeps so sweetly, touching his head, checking his color, checking his breathing, and thankful that none of the signs are significant enough to give the doc a call.

Yesterday I watched him play with his brother, running up and down the slipping slide, he hasn't figured out how to slide on it yet.  I listened as they were supposed to be cleaning their room, but were just playing instead.  We had to fuss at him once again, more than an hour after bed time for crawling in bed with his brother to play cars.

When I look at him I do not see Leukemia, and for that I am so thankful.  But still I'm always looking for Leukemia when I look at him.  I hope he doesn't always see it in my eyes.  I pray that he and I and our family can all be brave.

I tell him what his name means, Jude - Praise, and he is so full of praise, Brian - strong and he shows me his muscles, Griffin - strong in faith, and he reminds me that his body is fighting ALL the germs, my body can fight 100 germs he tells me.

Faith like a child, ok God, that is what that looks like.  Teach me this faith like a child.  I pray for his precious body and hope that God answers my prayers.  And each time I feel a little braver, a little more "strong in faith"